I am happy for you! (Do you really mean it?)

"I am happy for you" ..."Good for you "

Expressions that we often say perhaps as a reflex ... After all we want to look good right.. No one will say WOW I am not happy for you ...

I recently shared some good news with someone who responded “I am happy for u”
Later I found out about a comment she made about me who was borderline derogative ...I felt weird about why she would do such a thing and coincidently bumped into her yesterday while waiting for a meeting. I invited her for a drink and basically confronted her with this...I shared how sad I was about the comment she made...and told her "I thought u were happy for me".
She became pretty defensive at first, uncomfortable and started to say that she was happy for me… it is just that things always seem so easy for some and hard for others....I said ;” at the end of the day if u are not happy with yourself why would you be happy for me then??” At that moment I totally stopped taking her comments from a personal perspective...I actually felt very sorry for her…

One of the best advice I got early in my career from a very successful person was this "be genuinely happy for and inspired by the success of others ,be interested in learning about how their experience can be a catalyst for whatever you define as success in your own life" steer far from the feelings of envy. As they will destroy any opportunity to create and emulate any success stories in your life!" Thanks Ryan wherever you are ... I shared that advice with her and ask her when was the last time she felt genuinely happy about the success story of a friend, family member, colleague. Anyone??…She couldn't recall.

Then with a lot of tact and compassion I told her that bad mouthing doesn’t hurt the people you talk about, at the end of the day ... you are hurting yourself in the process you are killing yourself slowly but surely!!. She exploded in tears and apologized, she admitted to me that she has been in a rut for the past 4 years... Although all seem ok in appearances she was in a dead end relationship just for the kids, a dead end job and had no passion no energy no fuel... She could not handle colleagues getting promoted and other success stories actually she envied and wished it was her living these lives building her dreams ...

The person I was suppose to meet called to reschedule and I decided to have dinner with her; I told her about my personal journey, she couldn’t believe the work, the energy, the network and the frame of mind in order to make a small step forward everyday. ..I shared my struggles, hardships and some…

She gave me a ride home and I gave her a book who gave me an interesting perspective a few years back “Many Miles to go by Brian Tracey” Imagine my surprise when she sent me a thank you card to thank me and apologize again as It was the best evening she had in years ...She read all night and is now taking baby steps to get to a healthier frame of mind.. She wants to foster positive changes in her life….That made me feel so amazing that I decided to blog about this instead of writing about the launch of my new website and my extraordinary community I will save that for my early week blog. .... And leave u on this; This week I was truly and genuinely happy for:

Mark who got a great promotion
Spicey(Alex) who had amazing show Retrospek ,
Scott for signing another one of his celebrity wedding and Chantal who will accompany him
Sarah on winning the "gig"and trip to Hawaii.
Steve on finding the love of his life....
Ian on winning the toughest case of his career So many of you my friend…..in case I forgot some..LOL

I am genuinely & truly happy for you. You all inspire me by your success stories and I am looking forward to hear about so many more….. Have a wonderful week-end

P.S.You can visit my new site at http://www.marielyssa.com/

I will be blogging about this and more early next week:) L